Thursday, July 29, 2004
my leg aches, my arm aches.
everywhere aches!
i am in pain!
been a long time since i started exercising,
and i went for rugby today,
and had to do some funny exercisers(is this how u spell? i dunno!).
and now everywhere is aching!
gosh.
i can never understand why guys can be so dumb..
they start fighting over the slightest matter.
like today, they fought over water splashing!! *pengz*
so they were unhappy with one another and ended up going out of sch just to fight.
best of all, they are class mates.
so, we(my friends and i) went out of sch to kaypoh too.
altogether about 15 people kaypohed..
and about 10 people helped to stop them fighting.
than.. a policeman was there,
so they went into school.
and they fought outside one of the lecture theather..
and from two people fighting,
ended up nearly six.
link here link there.
ended up more people are not happy with each other.
haiz.
GUYS! i wonder what is stored in their brains.
posted @ 7/29/2004 10:32:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
I really hate it when i don't know answers for my questions,
i hate trying to figure out what the real answer is,
and i will constantly ponder on it.
though i am not affected by it,
i hate people who lie and cheat my feelings,
cause they do make me hurt..
Thanks lester, for answering my thoughts and questions..
it kinda helped..
but i would still like to know the real answer.
but it is ok.
sometimes in life,
knowing more might hurt me right?
Thanks so much!
oh yeah, sorry for falling asleep while msging you..
Moving house soon,
my whole house is in a mess,
cardboard boxes everywhere..
i feel sad seeing the house like that,
close to 18 years,
and i am finally moving out soon.
but memories of my childhood still lingers here.
i hope i can get used to the environment in the new house,
cause i still think marine crescent has the best environment,
a beach just opposite,
market nearby,
parkway around the corner
and going to church is easy.
at punggol,
everything is just inaccessible...
even going to SP..
haiz.
Ant,
i love you!
Thanks for giving me a call when u heard about the news
and concerned if i am alright.
yupz, i really appreciate it.
Thanks for being such a good bestfriend!!
-muackz-
oh ya, bad news for you,
once i move house,
u can't bathe at my place already!
cause it will be so damn far!
hahax..
"So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem
I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it"
posted @ 7/29/2004 10:22:00 AM
_______________________________________________________________________
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Nobody would ever know how much shit i went through this whole damn week
and finally, i realised that i have been partially set free.
i am really relieved about it.
i guess it its ok if i went through again.
i always go through the same shit most of the time.
one day i will get so used to it that i will not realised what i am doing.
every morning i would wake up and ask myself,
"What the hell am i doing in a relationship?
i don't know if i am really happy in it."
So now, the matter is settled.
in a good way.
i guess so many things have been happening too.
i keep being haunted by everybody i used to love.
who end up hurting me.
"i wish i can hate you!
but i still like you too much to hate you.
you know u how much u hurt me
memories of u keep flowing back,
i really don't know why.
i really wish i can forget you,
no matter how much i try,
u still haunt me.."
i guess my life on earth is to make everybody happy.
i spend most of it making people happy.
always trying to please people around me.
wanting them to smile always.
What about me?
I am forced to go church cause i want to please my mother.
I am forced to go SOL 2, so i won't fall behind.
and so many many other stuff i am forced to.
i am so damn sick of it.
i wanna just run away from all this shit.
i guess i gotta start finding my happiness chocolates.
i finish them already,
eating them makes me better.
Thanks darren, for buying them for me.
i am really appreciate them.
i wish i can be carefree again,
free of worries,
free of pain.
they are really ruining my damn life.
Van!
i miss you! been a long time since i saw you..
i hope i can see you soon..
posted @ 7/25/2004 07:22:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Sunday, July 18, 2004
so, ncc day parade wasn't any better from before years.
tons of people were falling out from the platoon.
and it is worse than the other years.
gosh, ncc is becoming worse and worse.
imaging seeing the whole middle row of the platoon gone.
patches of white empty spaces on the parade square.
cadets squatting down cause they feel tired(making the situation even worse),
some swaying back and forth like a pendulum(they ended up on the floor anyway),
St john's running back and forth carrying the medic bag or dragging people out of the parade square.
i wonder how the guests and VIPs would feel?
to me, the whole scene was hilarious and embarrassing.
for once, i regretted not carrying a camera around,
was trying to take with my phone but obviously it was pathetic.
well, i hope ncc can do a better parade than that next time.
Catching up with ncc friends was good too.
like Liting!
totally missed her.. long time since we really sat down and chatted
but not for long, cause she had to run here and run there.
overall, it was good enough to see her already.
love ya gal..
yupz, had a gathering the day before..
the philippines trip..
it was great.. caught up with tons of people..
and stayed overnight at lim's place..
gosh.. i had gastrics practically the whole night..
nearly died..
lesson learnt: better eat!
so while i suffer.. the rest were happily playing majong..
i wonder how they managed to ta han not slping..
yeah.. gotta run to bed now.
before i become some walking zombie tmr..
posted @ 7/18/2004 10:53:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
never knew how much arcade can make me feel better.
played beat mania and percussion,
and some computer games.
and it took away my hurt, stress or thoughts.
i just dun know why,
felt down the whole day,
since i woke up,
i felt shitty.
Best of all,
the people didn't make me feel better,
instead i felt more hurt and alone.
it is really not easy always trying to be happy,
not easy to keep all the pain, the hurts and feelings inside you,
especially when your past starts haunting you again,
and realise sometimes friends are not to be trusted.
nearly cried in school today.
i felt kinda emotional.
but some friends do try to make me feel better,
and i am really thankful to them.
"GoNg, thanks for accompanying me to play arcade,
and trying to put up with my bad mood."
"Thanks Gawin for trying to make me feel better in class!
i really appreciate it!
oh yeah, try not to feel so sad over u know.. 24 april thingy..!"
Anywae, King Arther is a great show..
you ppl should catch it..
though there ain't any cute guys?
but the gal is kinda chio..
now the next targeted movie would be blood bro.
yeah, heard it is good.
posted @ 7/14/2004 08:49:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Sunday, July 11, 2004
my comp is in a cocky state
gotta pray everytime when i switch it on,
pray it will work,
and thank God,
right now it is working when i really need it.
got tons of stuff to do,
like trying to see all the photos in the cds,
sorting them out,
and deciding wat to develop.
and its really not easy looking at 1000 plus photos.
went out with ben, kelvin and some of the second trip people on fri,
was dragged by Ben to join them when me and kelvin were suppose to eat somewhere else.
but its ok, they are quite funny people.
so, three couples and Ben left school together for dinner.
and Ben did nothin but complain ,
"i swear i will never go out with couples again.."
and talk about his favourite story...
i have two good friends.
(eyes directed to kelvin)
at philippines, i helped one of them to pick a shell,
but i slipped and fell,
instead of helping me,
my good friend just stand there and laugh.
(eyes directed to me now)
and the other was taking photos,
suddenly she heard a splash,
and instead of helping me,
she took photos of me falling.
my two wonderful friends..
Camera:$300
film:$3
ben falling down:priceless"
and i heard this for like 4-5 times since he fell.
i wonder when he will stop making us so famous with his story..
i am like so bored by it..
oh ya, i watched a movie totally condemned by Vanessa yesterday,
cause it is so damn bitchy, girly, and whatever.
and obviously it would be
mean girls
well, to me the show is kinda funny,
especially it emphasize on how dumb girls get,
and how extremely bitchy they are.
and ya, i totally agree with the show.
reality movie?
whatever.
well, 90% of the cinema were filled by girls.
Yay for them.
now Lets just wait for a movie about how dumber guys are than girls..
posted @ 7/11/2004 09:24:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
second day of sch..
and one woRd -
SUCKY!
i think my this year class sucks..
i mean i really dun know how i am going to communicate with them..
i dun even know how i am going to mix with them..
they are like so...
not my type?
argh.. now this is when i start appreciating my old class..
damn,
why me?
i can never understand why i am always the unlucky one?
why is my road always so rocky?
full of holes, dents, obstructions and whatever?
i am so tired of always trying to make my life smooth sailing..
always trying to fill the gaps, trying to move the obstructions away..
WHY?
now i am trying to get back into t.rugby,
but no matter how i try,
i can't seem to click with them,
its really really hard..
i dun know why..
the angel in my head is saying '
come on ying, just try, i am sure u can click with them'
the devil in my head '
just forget it huh.. just quit.. u dun need t.rugby!
so.. who am i suppose to listen to?
i really like the sport,
am i going to make myself quit?
yupz, and now?
should i tell him to fly kite?
or not?
i just think it is so wierd!
gosh.. i really dunno what to do..
i just dun wanna give up like that..
i mean.. i kinda promised myself it will work out..
and now?
lester, i bet u know wat i am talking about..
haiz..
thanks for being there always..
*hUGz*
yupz van,
thanks for being so concern over me,
i knew u were quite upset over the changes..
even more than me!! (i think.. )
ended up asking pam so many questions!!
*muackz*
jo and dawn..
you both too.. thanks for always being concerned..
like when i am online and i am sad..
u both never fail to tell me something nice..
*mUACKS*
and ant!
thanks for always hearing me complain about stuff..
and understanding me..
and consoling me and stuff..
u will always be my bestfriend...
love you gal
*HUGZ AND MUACKZ*
posted @ 7/06/2004 10:46:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Saturday, July 03, 2004
THANKS LESTER for being there when i needed somebody to be there..
i really appreciated it..
really really thank you..
went bumming around with lester today..
ate a fish & co..
and i enjoyed it.
good food to feed my saddness..
yupz, than we went looking for ichigo bliss..
sadly everywhere is out of stock..
poor lester was really craving for it!
cheer up lester!
Being with Lester really makes my day,
he makes me forget my saddness,
yupz.. and so i..
didn't go church,
cause i just didn't want to,
cause i know,
i will break down and cry.
i am so damn tired about everything,
i wish i can just let go.
i wish i dun have to keep pleasing people,
and try to make myself happy for once..
posted @ 7/03/2004 11:00:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
been quite pissed recently with someone..
for once, i manage to take my mind off everything yesterday..
Never enjoyed myself that much yesterday
and now my whole body is aching really bad..
Went wakeboarding with Ant, my sis and Dawn.
Yeah, it was good and kinda burnt a hole in my pocket,
but if you need to take your mind of something/someone,
its a good sport.
Everything went well for me,
managed to stand up on the board for my 2nd try,
learnt how to go in, go out and accelerate.
the rest managed to stand up too!
Ant was totally shagged out after wakeboarding,
and couldn't walk.
And during the duration of her wakeboarding,
she had that 'pang-sai-scrunched-up' face.
its really funny.
you can check out the pictures from
HERE!
.
ME Wakeboarding
Anthea floating on water
Dawn wakeboarding! Way to go Dawn!
my sis, ready to go
posted @ 7/03/2004 12:13:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
Thursday, July 01, 2004
its not easy to try to be happy..
I Am Tired of trying!
can somebody find a way out for me..?
posted @ 7/01/2004 11:09:00 PM
_______________________________________________________________________
