Friday, October 19, 2007
Up to now,
I still can't study
But i have to.
I am tired,
from the crying.
Crying makes you sleepy.
But i simply can't sleep.
The email in the in box is there.
I am so tempted to read it again.
Read it many times. But briefly.
Cause the words go blurry half way through.
I don't want to read it.
But i want it to remind me about the reality that just happened.
He really loves me?
Or I hope so. I keep telling myself that.
I don't know if there are lies or truth in his words.
What does it matter?
In the end, he obviously chooses her.
he has to anyway.
I can't be with him either.
It breaks my heart to know that there might be a possibility that i love him more than Him back home.
I feel happy yet unhappy being with him.
Maybe cause i cannot accept the fact that he has somebody.
I've got somebody waiting for me back home too.
I can't break His heart either.
He gives me everything i need.
but i feel like i am losing feelings for Him.
But at least I know He really loves me a lot.
By the way,
Please don't ever tell me forever and always.
It breaks my heart.
Labels: Forever and Always
posted @ 10/19/2007 11:40:00 PM
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The tears slowly fell as it sank in.
Even before i read the email.
I don't like crying in public,
but no matter how hard i tried,
tears just came down.
I tried to smile at van.
To pretend nothing happened.
But it was obvious enough.
As i read the email,
i really know its best for both.
But the tears just fell.
I am tired of crying too.
I've never cried that much for anybody except for kang wei.
And its been a long time since i cried for anybody.
Well, its over.
All i have to do is to keep telling myself that exams are here and i have to study.
I hope my determination will overwhelm my broken heart instead.
My determination to study today is gone.
The words are all blurry and nothing is going in.
I just stared blankly at the pages of propulsion.
Stress was sinking into me. But this is sinking deeper.
Its a bad time for this to happen but i know i will make it through.
I know tomorrow is going to be worse.
I am not going to sleep.
I don't want to wake up feeling empty like now.
I feel lost. For the longest time.
I hate the feeling.
Please go away. I really need the strength now.
Labels: Please Go Away.
posted @ 10/19/2007 04:17:00 PM
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Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Driving test tmr.
yet i cant sleep.
i've got the stupid sad feeling.
maybe there are too much stuff i am so upset about
and the stress about tmr.
i feel like crying.
can i don't take the test tmr.
i am really scared.
i dont want to fail.
posted @ 10/03/2007 11:03:00 PM
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