Monday, May 31, 2010
My feelings are so numb that my tears are stuck.
My heart is breaking, I want a job.
I am very sure i am capable to carry out the job that requires me to do.
But the interview always pulls me away from the job.
I am so depressed right now that i want to do is to bury myself under a blanket and do some self-pitying.
Everybody is getting a job except me, even those who did worse than me in studies.
Charisma is all that matters.
All i do i get fucking screwed whenever i face an interviewer.
Sometimes i wish i can go down on my knees and beg them.
"Please give me the job. I know i can do it."
But that will only in my dreams.
The past offer still haunts me.
I should have taken up that job. Everything about it is fine.
I could have worked with my friend. Near my house. Brainless job. And i got it so easily, through a phone interview. I could have been so comfortable there.
But my passion to work as an engineer caused me to reject that offer.
Do i regret it now? Yes. I do. Badly.
So what do i do now?
Labels: My heart is numb.
posted @ 5/31/2010 08:28:00 PM
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Friday, May 28, 2010
It has been a really long time since i decided to sit down and write my blog. Usually when i decide to write, it means i am feeling emotional.
I am currently at the phase in my life where everything is a blur. I do not have a job and i have an interest in somebody who doesn't like me. As much as i desperately hope and want to get a job that i love, the hope seems rather dim right now. I screwed up my last interview. The interview that i told myself to be calm and cool for. The interview is where i can impress the interviewers why i can get the job. But i fucked up. My mind is in a whirl right now, and i feel that i have lost all hope in getting a job. I wish i can get a job that doesn't require brains right now because i do not think i have the energy to go for more interviews or test.
The guy that i like as well, is slowly breaking my heart. It pains me to see the guy i like being oblivious to my feelings for him. And even so, it cannot happen as there are principals involved. I hate this kind of complicated shit. Even so, i doubt he has the same feelings that i have for him. All i can do is pray that i will get over him as fast as possible so that i can move on.
I am not sure what to do in my life right now. I pray to God that he will help me through this. I hope he does it soon.
Labels: My heartaches.
posted @ 5/28/2010 01:28:00 AM
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